...

Oh God... I don't know what You're doing... I know You have a reason and a perfect plan, but I am so lost as to what those things could possibly be... 


I thought I was past being afraid to hope because of constantly losing the things I hope for. Now that fear has been reinforced, and I hate that that's the case.


I hate my utter powerlessness.


I hate all the "what ifs."


I need peace so badly...